Posted on July 13, 2009 at 10:37 pm 'Wife and I are filing a divorce soon. We have an ocean of differences and lot of debt between us. I want to file bankruptcy too but she does not want to. There's no convincing that woman! Can I force her to file bankruptcy with me and also which should be filed first, bankruptcy or divorce?

Posted on July 13, 2009 at 10:57 pm Should you file bankruptcy first before divorce? Yes.Filing bankruptcy and getting a discharge would clear the financial/debt issues before you go into the always messy arena of divorce. Being still legally married would make it easier for you to negotiate how the remaining debts are to be divided..and seriously, you can't force her to file. It is actually advantageous for you to file first than her, asking her makes you a gentleman, because when your debts get discharged in bankruptcy--her's might not. If she files bankruptcy first, you're going to get the shorter end of the stick.

Posted on July 13, 2009 at 11:15 pm What sort of debts do you have? You know you don't have to file bankruptcy just to resolve your debt issues. Have you tried seeking the help of a financial/debt expert? If not yet, and if your debts are mostly credit card debts, feel free to fill out a form in this site and speak with a debt consultant regarding your options. Financial experts would advice you to not file bankruptcy if you haven't yet explored the alternatives to it.

Posted on July 13, 2009 at 11:31 pm Mister Trilby you don't force women into anything okay? And should you file bankruptcy first before starting the divorce? I am taking the other position and disagree with don'tyoushiver. Go through the divorce proceedings first. The divorce would split all your debts and properties and then you won't have anything to do with one another after...that is as long as you have sat down and agree on which debts are to be shouldered by you and which ones are hers. This makes more sense because your soon to be ex-wife doesn't want to file bankruptcy with you.And I'd agree with itsnatasha, look into the services of debt experts, you don't have to file bankruptcy right away. Or at all.Finally, in all of these, both of your attorneys should be present, and everything must also be in writing.

Posted on July 13, 2009 at 11:39 pm Thank you all for your replies..You said that it is advantageous for me to file bankruptcy first than my wife beating me to it? Why is that?And okay if we file that divorce first, if we agree on splitting the debts equally, can I later file bankruptcy and get rid of my debts and my ex-spouse's debts as well? As, of course, after the divorce the debts would still be there...Our debts are mostly credit card but we are also paying for our cars and some loans. When we got married we both have huge student loans.

Posted on July 14, 2009 at 12:58 am If you file bankruptcy (individually) and you get a discharge, the creditors/debt collectors would still try to go after your wife to collect on some of the other debts that are still under both of your names.  That's why before you file either bankruptcy or divorce, do already get/open separate accounts and close the joint accounts.And you can only discharge your wife's debts too if she files with you..I think, can somebody verify this?

Posted on July 14, 2009 at 1:36 am Just to add to that:If you file bankruptcy (individually), aside from your wife not being able to avail of the debt discharge, the automatic stay protection would not be available to her as well.

Posted on July 14, 2009 at 1:50 am Wow, wait a minute, I am in a sort of similar situation as Mister Trilby, only I am the wife of a man who wants to file bankruptcy. I don't want to file because..what with the divorce too? That's two lawyers and two cases..are you kidding me with the fees?! Plus I want to keep the home, the kids need it.How can I protect myself from my husband's bankruptcy petition? I don't want to shoulder the remaining debt and I don't want the children getting affected by collection calls. Thank you.

Posted on July 14, 2009 at 1:58 am Okay, I'm not a lawyer but this is what I've learned:One way to protect yourself from your husband's bankruptcy petition is to may be  take a security lien--to backup you up from the debts that you and your ex-husband incurred in marriage. That lien should come out or be on the property that the court is going to award to your ex-husband in the divorce case, preferably that property should be of value. That way, if your ex-husband gets awarded a bankruptcy discharge--and the creditors/debt collectors come after you for the remaining debt or his portion of the debt, you can then seize that property (lien)  to pay off the debt.

Posted on July 14, 2009 at 2:03 am Shattered dreams, I only want my soon to be ex-wife to avail of the bankruptcy discharge too--that way she won't have to deal with post-divorce debt.