In Debt and Depressed, what to do?
Posted on
June 22, 2009
at
5:58 am
How to help a loved one who is in debt and also depressed? I saw that thread about being in debt and also suicidal, it scared me. I think somebody said that there are a lot of help lines out there but I guess I'd rather I ask help here since this is an anonymous post anyway. I really don't want to be surprised by a death in the family because of debt, depression, and eventually suicide-my question is, what are its symptoms? How can I help? Thank you for reading.
Posted on
June 22, 2009
at
6:07 am
I think that the first thing to do, if you are not the sufferer, is to watch out for behavioral changes, mood swings, and a drastic shift in the other person's habits. I'm sure not everybody would approve of it, but start investigating on that other person's activities, prove your suspicions wrong-because how else could you help or intervene if you do not know anything?Careful though not to make the person defensive and even if you get caught snooping around-admit your concern to the person. After which, reassure him/her that you won't judge, that you'd do what you can to help. Shame is a big issue in debt and depression.
Posted on
June 22, 2009
at
6:11 am
If you think about it, you have two sets of problems, debt and depression. In that order.It's as if debt is the first problem and therefore must be tackled first, and then the depression. Find out what the exact financial situation is. I don't agree with itsnatasha that you have to snoop around for this. I think that you should ask your loved one right away as it is obvious that's something is making him/her more than unhappy-and dysfunctional. I agree with her though about the non-judgmental part. You have to present yourself as somebody whom he/she can rely on, as he/she is feeling very vulnerable at that moment.
Posted on
June 22, 2009
at
6:18 am
And maybe it would help to know that - just in case, your loved one has been receiving collection calls-collection agencies cannot bully or threaten the consumer or his/her loved ones under the FDCPA rules. Find out if this is one of the things that is upsetting him/her.
Posted on
June 26, 2009
at
5:39 am
Is it a clinical depression, meaning your loved one has seen a doctor, and was diagnosed with depression or you just said depression because it looks like it? I think that one way to help is to see a doctor first. If you obtain a medical certificate attesting to the fact that your loved one is ill, perhaps that can be a negotiating point for him/her.I wonder what the creditor policies are with regards to debt and mental illness...
Posted on
June 26, 2009
at
9:05 am
Depression is a very serious thing. If your debt is fueling depression, I think the best thing to do is try and formulate a plan as to how you are going to realistic pay the debt off. Once you have satisfied your obligations I think you may feel a lot better about things in general. I would be more than happy to share my thoughts with you in terms of what you might be able to do if you are comfortable sharing your situation on the forum. Is it credit card debt?
Posted on
July 7, 2009
at
5:14 am
Hi, thank you all for the replies, and I found out that it was credit card debts. I don't know about collection calls though--and I think he's previously gone through bankruptcy...like 10 years ago. I think what's causing the depression is the thought that he might need to file again..and let go of the house this time..
Posted on
July 7, 2009
at
5:22 am
I wonder which chapter your loved one has filed under..and if you can only bring him/her in this thread then perhaps we would know more about his actual financial situation. Can you tell him/her that this is a good year to settle debts? Credit card companies are willing to negotiate with consumers now because of the recession. Tell him that there is hope, but he has to be willing to get help..
Posted on
July 7, 2009
at
5:24 am
Just to add to what blur has said, since you mentioned that it has been 10 years ago..your loved one can indeed file for another bankruptcy, he/she can opt to file under Chapter 13 and not lose the house. It is a repayment plan after all, not liquidation, like Chapter 7.
Posted on
July 7, 2009
at
5:30 am
Is your loved one employed or is receiving good income? If so, then it is not such a hopeless case, there are people in these threads that are in a more desperate situation. IN DEBT AND UNEMPLOYED..IN DEBT AND DISABLED..I think the magic words could be "don't worry you're not going to jail for not being able to pay your debts..or it's okay to file bankruptcy the second time around, there's life after it, or I've learned that you don't have to file bankruptcy again..there are alternatives to it that you can explore..and the creditors are willing to work with you..."
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