I am at a point right now where I am on the threshhold of complete collapse or starting recovery.This month I am upside down with more outgoing money than incoming. My wife can now work and once she gains employment we can look at either settlement or management. The problem here is I'm in such bad shape today that debt settlement and debt management companies can't or won't even start to represent me. If I had to do something right now, today, chapter 7 would be my only option. If my wife picks up work soon, the other two options are totally viable. With this problem nearing a year now is there anything or anyone that can step in to mediate with the creditors or do I just ride it out until she goes to work ? Once we can pursue settlement or debt management since my debt was pre-wife how do they calculate the income? Is my debt figured entirely on my income and ability to pay or can she by marriage have her income included as part of my income ( reminding that she has nothing to do with any of the debt)?
I can feel your pain. Now, I want you to feel my joy. I want you to feel my joy because it'll take the desparation out of your situation. Having been down and out with a only a shovel in my hand, let me tell you that your situation is just that - a situation. It won't be this way forever.
You see, your creditors can't do a damned thing to you but make hollow threats. The laws are written to protect you. So I don't sound like I'm lecturing, I'll simply ask you to believe that statement. Believe it so we can move on.
OK, now assess your moneys coming in versus the moneys owed. Since only you can decide the bills you think you should pay, do that next. Now pay those bills you have ranked as important. The others will still be there and will accept payment from you in the future.
Next, if the wife is still in recovery, don't rush her to go to work. Let her recover in peace and dignity so she can get her health back on track.
Forget bankruptcy. That only puts you further in debt and the only one to benefit is the lawyer. You can reach a settlement with your creditors w/o bankruptcy. I assure you of that.
You simply need to document every step you have taken to pay and to attempt to settle your debts. You document because in a court, your documents magically become evidence. Evidence is the second most important part of a court case. Procedure is number one.
Your income questions and pre-wife statements can be meaningful or can be useless. Here's why - I don't know how your debts are currently structured. Did she assume liability for your old debts? Is there a law in your state making her liable simply by marrying you? There are other questions but you get the idea, right...
Hopefully the above is a start to help you get your head pointed in the right direction. I tried putting this straight to the point and not sound condescending. If anything I wrote doesn't rub you the right way, please disregard. You can also pm me w/any questions or comments.
MHJ
Rep Points: 350
True. Avoid the bankruptcy quagmire and work your way out of debt slowly but surely. Things will turn around with delibertae effort.
Avoid bankrupcy. It will not make things any better.
I know you're struggling to keep up repayments, but even a small payment towards the debts that's below what they're asking for is still a sign that you're trying to catch things up. This will go in your favor when things come to the crunch.
Pay whatever you can find. Do it weekly, or whenever you possibly can. This will also help when you reach the stage of recovering from this mess.
The most important thing to remember though is DON'T GIVE UP
Awsheet - Avoid Bankruptcy at all costs! My ex-husband talked me into it when we were on the verge of collapsing and it has cost me dearly. I like you was in serious debt... but I managed to work with my creditors during and after my divorce. I had a serious back taxes to pay and then some old credit card debt. My divorce has been final for 4 years. We had the bankruptcy dismissed and it will soon be distant memory. And like sandalwood recommends, document EVERYTHING. That will be your saving grace. Also, use spreadsheets to track your monies and your budgets. Good luck.
